Reflections

When HP and I found out BP was on the way HP was excited.  I was not.  I know, I know – all those women out there that want a baby so bad, and here I was not so very happy.  You see, our life was perfect.  Small little place to take care of, I got to volunteer, HP was working.  I got his full attention when he came home.  In my happy little mind a baby wasn’t going to add much to my life.  I loved being an Auntie, but Momma?… I wasn’t so sure about that.

I wasn’t prepared to be tired all of the time.
I wasn’t prepared to gain 43 pounds.
I wasn’t prepared to be allergic to nuts – – > or my wedding rings.
I wasn’t prepared to see the doctor OFTEN.
I wasn’t prepared to be in labor for 22 hours.
I wasn’t prepared to get an epidural – or for it to not work.
I wasn’t prepared to be flipped upside down twice because BP’s heart rate went too low.
I wasn’t prepared to have a C-section.
I wasn’t prepared to be asleep when BP was born.
I wasn’t prepared to be separated from BP 2 days after she was born.
I wasn’t prepared to spend a week in the hospital.
I wasn’t prepared to get no sleep for 3 months.
I wasn’t prepared to carry a baby/child wherever I went.
I wasn’t prepared to love BP as much as I do.
I wasn’t prepared to be so delighted in little things.
I wasn’t prepared to have a child who sang as much as  BP does.
I wasn’t prepared to laugh as much as I do.
I wasn’t prepared to love being a Mumma.

I’m not really sure what I was prepared for.  I had unrealistic expectations.  I thought I would have a ‘perfect’ pregnancy.  I thought I would have an easy delivery.  I thought I would bond with BP right away.  I thought I would have a Thomas KinKade/Norman Rockwell life as WP and Mumma.

But it hasn’t been all roses and chocolates.  It’s been tough.  And Tiring.  Very Tiring.

BUT and that’s a BIG BUT – it’s worth it.  I love HP more today than the day I married him.  I love BP today more than the day I first held her.  I have grown, and changed, and learned.  And I love my non-Thomas Kinkade/Norman Rockwell life because of moments like this:

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And moments like this:

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And for so many other moments that I simply enjoy without photographing them.

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About hpwpbp

Wife Person to a wonderful Husband Person. Mother Person to a wonderful Baby Person.
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