AJC

I found out last night that my friend from kindergarten lost his fourth child. 😥 They were 39 weeks along in their pregnancy.  I can’t help but think of my little nephew at this time.  He was just about as far along when we lost him.  I was amazed, and still am, at the things that come out of people’s mouths in an effort to comfort at a time like this.  I have not directly experienced this type of loss, so I am not an expert, but here are a few things to remember when trying to comfort friends/family who have lost a precious little one.

Please:
1. Don’t visit or call them if they have openly asked you (anyone) not to
2. Don’t tell them – their child is better off now
3. Don’t tell them – oh, you can have another one
4. Don’t tell them – you have 3 (or whatever the number) others to love and cherish
5. Don’t tell them – They are in a better place
6. Don’t minimize their loss

*While these things may be true, these words do not help the parents at all while they are initially grieving.

Please do:
1. Acknowledge their loss
2. Ask what you can do to help
3. Be willing to talk/listen about their child – or NOT talk about their child
4. Love the parents
5. Respect their decisions without judging them (if they have a service (private or public) or not, etc.)
6. Understand that they are recovering from pregnancy/labor/delivery.  Just because they didn’t get to bring their baby home doesn’t mean they are physically feeling up to – anything
7. Realize they will never forget their child, and neither should you

These lists do not cover everything to do/don’t do – the are just a small reminder that loss hurts no matter when or how it happens.

Pray for my friends, and those you know, who have lost someone ‘big’ or ‘little’.

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About hpwpbp

Wife Person to a wonderful Husband Person. Mother Person to a wonderful Baby Person.
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